i may act like i’m sassy but if you’re mean to me there is a 900% chance i’ll cry
To my constant companions
I really just want 3 or 4 close friends. Not a boyfriend or a bestie. I want to be part of a collective. People say to me that I’m easy to get along with and everyone likes me. The problem is that I have a hard time caring about other people. All the friends I’ve ever made; we move away from each other. This means we stop living in each others’ lives, we aren’t part of their in-person progress. That is very hard for me to deal with because I don’t like physical touch, so the only contact I have with people is being in their wonderful presence. I fear physical bonds, but want to bond somehow. I fear making and losing the presence of those I care about, so I don’t care and don’t “hang”. In truth, I would not have at all than have had and lost. At least my loneliness does not change in degree of severity and I don’t experience more shattering of trust and stability. I like constants. I guess that is why I consider you all here, my friends. I know you’ll be online, I recognize your usernames and icons/profile pics. You are my constants, my collective and I care about you. Which in turn, makes me want to cuddle the hell out of you. So I’ll hug my screen, your words, your gifs, your art, your fics, your constant presence. I love you guys.